Three years ago this week, my friend Diane and I took a walk around her neighborhood. I remember we went slowly, taking our time, enjoying the sunshine and each other. Although we talked and laughed as we always had, my heart was heavy. I knew it would probably be our last walk together.
But what I couldn’t have known on that August morning was that although Diane’s own four-year journey with ovarian cancer was coming to an end, my walking partner’s legacy would live on.
As I set out just after dawn today for a long, solitary walk on a quiet country road, I found myself thinking of my friend. Not a day goes by when I don’t miss her. I miss our long walks, our trips to the farmers’ market, our overnight get-aways, fast rides in her little chocolate brown sports car. I miss her e-mails (which always seemed to contain the words I most needed to hear), the sound of her voice, her perfect, light-as-air scones, her pleasure in a glass of good champagne, her no-nonsense advice about kids and recipes and neighborhood dilemmas. I miss hearing her views on politics and tv shows and books and which jeans looked best on me.
At the same, as the years go by, I find myself increasingly grateful for the clear sense of purpose she bequeathed to all of us she left behind. More than anything, Diane hoped that more effective treatments and earlier detection might make other women’s prognoses better than her own. Nearly three years after her death, Diane’s commitment to ovarian cancer research has not only endured, it has become an increasingly vital legacy
Given how dedicated Diane was to this cause, how tirelessly she worked even after her diagnosis to raise money, and how many miles she walked to support the ongoing research at Dana Farber, where she was treated, it’s no surprise that so many of her friends have been inspired to follow in her footsteps.
Team Diane was founded as a personal way for a group of us to remember our dear friend by continuing the work Diane herself began. On Sunday, September 8th, we will once again lace up our sneakers and walk the 26.2 miles of the Boston Marathon route.
The funds we raise go to Diane’s Fund, established by Diane’s family to directly support the cutting-edge efforts at the Dana Farber Cancer Institute to better understand the biology and improve the detection and treatment of ovarian and other gynecological cancers.
But Team Diane has become much more than a handful of friends raising money for a good cause. Our circle has widened, our commitment has deepened, our impact has strengthened, and we have built a community of hope and support for the many amongst us who have been touched or suffered loss as a result of these diseases. While we walk in Diane’s honor and in her name, our walk is not about one woman’s journey, it is about our journey, together.
Raising money has never been easy for me. For years, while my sons were growing up, I happily volunteered to cook, clean, drive, edit, and organize for various causes I believed in. I was always happy to do anything – anything, that is, that didn’t involve asking other people to open their checkbooks.
Joining Team Diane took me out of my comfort zone in several ways. But training for months to prepare to walk 26. 2 miles has proved to be far easier for me than asking others to contribute cash – even for a cause I believe in deeply. In the end, as I’ve done so often in the past, I look to my friend’s example for courage. Raising money was not easy for her, either. But she did it — gracefully and with absolute commitment, knowing the funds she raised would make a difference for others. And so, I gather my own courage and carry on; my guess is, nothing would have pleased Diane more.
Last year, Team Diane collectively raised over $50,000 to directly support the research efforts led by Diane’s oncologist, Dr. Ursula Matulonis. She and her team are making significant progress every day. And she has reached out to thank us personally for making such a meaningful contribution to this urgent work. Our walk and your donations help make this work possible.
I am deeply grateful for any support you, my readers, are able to give. Together, we are walking and giving and working to change lives — and perhaps to save them.
How to donate, and a special thanks from me to you!
As you know already, if you’ve been reading here for a while, I received a very special gift from my husband at Christmas time – a hardbound volume collecting all of my blog pieces, from the very first one I wrote back in 2009 up through last October (when he had to send the book to press in order to have copies ready for Christmas). The View from My Window is a personal book, created for me to share with family and friends (you can read more about it here). But I do have a dozen of the original 30 copies left, and I would love to give them to you — my way of saying “thank you” for supporting me in this year’s walk.
To learn more or to donate to my walk, simply click here.
And then make sure to leave me a comment in the comments section below. On September 3 (an extension!) I will draw the names of twelve contributors, at random and using the tool at Random.org, to receive a signed, hardbound copies of The View from My Window. (I wish I could give a copy to each and every one of you.)
Thank you so much for reading, for being here, and for your generosity. It means more than I can say.
I lost my friend, Norma, in 2001 to Non-Hodgkins lymphoma and not a day goes by that I don’t “talk” to her or am reminded of how much her friendship meant to me. I shall be walking with you in spirit, Katrina, as you honor your friend. xo
Katrina, I have enjoyed your books and I have thought about your sweet friend and your friend that lost her son. My thoughts & prayers go out to you all. I will keep you in my thoughts as you walk in memory of your Dear Friend. Love and Prayers, Nicki
Katrina, I have just recently discovered you and your writings, and I can honestly say you have changed my life. I am already buying your books for friends of mine. I’m a 50 something and your thoughts are so relevant and soothing!
I shall be thinking of you as I participate in the T.E.A.L. walk for ovarian cancer in Brooklyn NY. (Not the 26.2 miles like you, just one lap around our famous Prospect Park!)
I am honored to make a
donation to this important cause. Kudos to you and all the members of Team Diane for working so hard and making such a big difference! You all rock!!!
Thank you for all you do and share with all of us! We are blessed to be part of your “world”.
I welcome the chance to donate to your effort as you walk in your friend’s memory and support the important research conducted by Dr. Matulonis and her team at Dana Faber.
Your account of the journey with your friend was so moving and has undoubtedly inspired others in their care-giving of a loved one. I’ll gladly donate to Diane’s researcher. I’d love to receive a copy of your special blog collection created by your husband. Don’t stop there—please publish it yourselves.
Everytime I receive an email notification that you have a new blog post, I stop what I’m doing and read it. Your writing style is like no other and I aspire to journal as eloquently as you do. Thank you for the chance to win a copy of your book.
Katrina, you are a messenger to so many. The message that you share through your words in your books and in your blog posts is impactful on all facets of life. Team Diane does good work to raise money and awareness for the necessary research required to hopefully put an end to these cancers that are taking the lives of our friends, mothers, sisters, daughters, aunts, etc. But what it really is, is love. Of course, I will donate to Team Diane and I will walk with you on that day in spirit as well. Your words and the message they bestow are a gift. Thank YOU for sharing.. Love is powerful and beautiful and necessary. Walk on!
Katrina, I am honored to help in your efforts in memory of Diane, and in honor of my mother who has been battling ovarian cancer for 15+ years. What an important cause. Thank you.
I’m very happy to support your efforts. Go Team Diane!
For some reason, I thought of you and your sweet friend just a week ago or so and remembered that it would be time for you to walk again soon. Thank YOU for continuing to work in support of such important research.
At some point in time during the past few years, I decided to print out each of your blogs and keep them myself but I have so gotten off track. I would love to have one of your bound copies. What a thoughtful gift from who is obviously a very, very thoughtful husband!
I will be happy to donate to cancer research. I pray one day soon we can find a cure! My own husband died several years ago … a booklet I found invaluable was “Hard Choices For Loving People” by Hank Dunn. Order one on amazon or look at Hank Dunn’s website — he has helped so many families find peace at the end of their life or their loved ones!
I just made a donation — Good luck reaching your goal!
Done, Katrina! Having lost my mother-in-law to cancer this summer, I know what a terrible disease it is. Best wishes to you on your walk.
I am so grateful for your writings and that I found you 7 years ago with the birth of my first son. You help me to live a deeper, richer and more present life. Sending you lots of light and love on your walk in late September and hoping you make lots of great memories along the way.
I am honored to donate for this walk. Diane was blessed to have you as a friend. Many prayers go out to you and your team. Thank you for your wonderful blog it is always a pleasure to read.
Donated and wishing Team Diane a walk filled with memories of your extraordinary friend. May she shine down upon all of you!
Thank you, Katrina, for giving us this opportunity to donate to such a good cause. I’m always so happy to see an email from you in my inbox—I love the way you put things in words… All the very best, I’ll be thinking of you on the day of your walk!
Hi Katrina,
I just made a donation in the memory of a dear woman, Eve Gorn, who was my doctor and friend and who died after a might struggle with ovarian cancer. Thank you for giving me a chance to honor her memory.
I would love a copy of your book.
Will love to donate. I too have a hard time asking for money. Fifty thousand dollars is wonderful. Hope you surpass that this year.
As I finished reading your post, I called my friend to plan a walk. When we go, I will be mindful of the marvels of friendship and the presence of love. The joy of your friendship filled me with gratidutde and contentment. Thank-you for sharing, ’twas comforting.
Thank-you for walking. I am happy to contribute to a great cause and am grateful to you for providing the opportunity.
Thank you for this moving post, Katrina. Ovarian Cancer is a cause that is close to my heart too. I lost my beloved grandmother, who was like a mother to me, to Ovarian Cancer seven years ago. Just as you miss Diane each day, I think of Nana constantly and wish that she could be around to see my three kids, whom she would have adored. Thanks again for your heartfelt words and for bringing awareness, as well as funding, to this very important cause.
Your post reminds me to treasure my friendships. Thank you for always putting so perfectly, the things felt in the heart. Go Team Diane!
You are in my thoughts as you prepare for your walk. I sure wish I could be part of this wonderful event. Please know your words comfort so many women. You are such a gifted writer and I always look forward to your next post. God Speed!
To Diane’s memory and the memory of all those we have loved, lost, yet carry with us always. Walk on! Betsy Marro
Katrina,
What an honor to share in your beautiful tribute to Diane and donate to this worthy cause! My family is approaching the 10 year anniversary of our sweet Beth’s death to breast cancer – I pray that the research you are helping to fund is effective, swift and powerful and I pray for a beautiful September day to walk and remember your friend. Praying for all of Team Diane!
Blessings,
I will be happy to donate again in the memory of your friend Diane and my friend Nancy. Do you mind if I send the donation in the mail?
Katrina – I am happy to share in the support of your dear friend’s memory as she (through Team Diane) continues to raise money in the battle against ovarian cancer. I have read all of your books and loved them all. As a recently turned 50 year old, I have found through your writing that many of our lives lead parallel paths. Your journey with Diane is similar to mine with a dear friend who is battling a very aggressive form of breast cancer…one which has come back in both her brain and spine. While it hit very close to home, we both still cherished your most recent book.
It has also been inspirational for me personally. Over the years, my family and friends have been trying to convince me to take up writing. I’m pleased to be making that step this fall, as I left a position in academia this past summer and am going to concentrate on raising my two boys and writing full time for a while. My husband and I both know I won’t be able to do this for too long as our oldest is planning on becoming an Ole in 5 years (ya sure you betcha, I am a St. Olaf grad – class of ’85). As you know, the beautiful school on the hill is not cheap, but as you also so eloquently describe, the time we have to truly be there for those oh so ordinary days with our children is not be squandered either.
So, thank you for being a forever friend to Diane, and for being an inspiration for so many of us!
Mary
It is an honor to once again contribute to this most worthy cause. I hope the walk goes well, and I will certainly be thinking of you and Team Diane on September 8th. In memory of your wonderful friend, and in memory of so many who have lost their lives to cancer, I send you my best wishes for a most memorable day.
Best of luck in the walk! I have a friend who has undergone treatment for ovarian cancer — so far, so good. We are happy she is still in our lives, in her daughters’ lives. Thinking of you and your friend with love…
I’m happy to have the opportunity to donate to this good cause! i so enjoy all of your writings. They remind me to try to look at each day as a gift that will never come again. Thank you.
Dearest Katrina,
I lost two friends to cancer just last week, in addition to losing my mother and two other friends to cancer in the past 10 year. I am a three-time cancer survivor, myself, and cannot thank you enough for all you are doing to honor your friend, Diane. By honoring her, you are doing so much to help other women combat this terrible disease. Bless you!
Remembering our adventures in Laguna with fondness,
Vicki
Go team Diane! Cancer, in it’s many forms, has in some way touched us all. My prayer is that some day it will have to be explained to a new generation like polio, small pox, and measles…something from the distant past that they have never heard of and that threatens them no longer. Thank you for walking to make that happen someday…someday soon.
Thank you so much, Team Diane. Go, team, go!
Katrina
How wonderful that you and your friends are doing the walk again to honor Diane. How fortunate you both were to be a part of each others lives. Good for you! I was just thinking the other day that your next book should be a collection of your blog posts. I had forgotten Steve gave you a bound edition for Christmas.
Thank you, Katrina, for keeping Diane’s memory alive in this way, and by extension keeping the awareness of this cancer and the need for a cure alive. I am so proud of you as I am sure all of your devoted readers are! Thank you for your inspiration to all of us.
Katrina – thank you for choosing to walk!!
Katrina, opening an email that contains your blog is like opening a letter from a dear friend that I have received in the mail. I don’t even know you, but I feel as I do. I absolutely love reading your blogs, and I have loved each of your books. Your words validate what I am feeling in my own life, and it makes me feel like I am journeying with a close friend. Thank you for sharing your beautiful words with us!
I have made a donation for your walk…best of luck to you and your team!!
Many blessings to you!!
Done. Wishing you beautiful walking feet and a heart filled with love in every step…
Love and light as you walk in memory of your dear friend.
I am one of the lucky ones. I survived ovarian cancer nearly 10 years ago and am blessed to continue to be healthy! Although I cannot afford a large donation at this time, I am more than happy to support your efforts to honour your friend!
Katrina,
Your books, your blog, and you have made such a positive impact on my life. Words can’t begin to explain how you’ve touched our whole family! My husband lost his cousin to breast cancer several years ago. She left behind a husband and young son. I lost my maternal grandmother to pancreatic cancer the year before we got married. My 14 yr old son had a baseball teammate who’s mother lost her battle during their season this year. My 11 yr old son’s baseball coach battled cancer this year & has been given a great prognosis. I know my donation is meager, but please know I will be thinking of you and Diane and my aunt Joan and my girlfriend’s sister, Angela, who are also battling ovarian cancer right now – every step of the way and all day! You’ve taught me that in the midst of all the chaos, the ordinary things in life like an “I love you, Mom” said as the 11 yr old gets on the bus and a hug with no words as the 14 year old passes me on the stairs are those gifts I will remember forever! Thank you for being you!
I have loved reading your books; your writing has inspired me. Thank you!
I am happy to support your walking for your friend.
I am also one of the lucky ones. I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer 27 years ago, and now at the age of 73 I am feeling amazingly well. Your comments about the difficulty of asking for donations describe my feelings exactly. I will use your example of looking beyond these feelings to make a difference in the lives of all of our friends and family. In the past month the daughter of my best friend and another very special friend who helped me go through chemo 27 years ago have both been diagnosed with breast cancer. I will be pleased to send a donation to Team Diane in the honor. And I will be thinking of you as you walk on September 8. It is always a special day when I recieve a message that you have a new blog post. I would be thrilled to receive a bound copy of your past blogs. What a treasured gift that was.
Just made a donation, from your college classmate Wendy Markus here in Malibu CA, in loving memory of my dear Aunt Sandra. Katrina, thank you for taking the time and making the effort to walk and rally contributions toward cancer prevention/cure research, and good luck!
Making a donation to your walk and sending prayers and blessings that all will go well. As a cancer survivor myself, I am very aware of the need for research and am grateful to all who can do these walks. Your writing is a blessing and I so enjoyed your talk at Titcomb’s in August! Thank you for all you are doing.
I am so glad to be able to donate in memory of your friend Diane. I read you faithfully and am so uplifted by your life and writing. I dare say my outlook has shifted from what cannot be to what I have now and to be grateful for those ordinary days. I had meant to do this sooner, but with shifting from NH back to Texas…to work, to a water-damaged house still in progress…well the heat addled my brain. That’s my story anyhow. Can’t be age? And in honor of my best friend Diane from Newburyport, we are both grateful to be well. We wish you all the best next week.
I’m hoping my envelope arrived in time! 🙂
Just donated, Katrina. I meant to do this weeks ago, but we were on vacation and then it slipped my mind until now. Go Team Diane!