For a while now I’ve been receiving letters from readers asking if I’m ever going to collect my blog pieces into a book.
I wasn’t sure about the wisdom of that.
Would they hold up? Would anyone actually want to buy such a volume? And perhaps the question that was hardest for me to answer: Could I even bear to go back and re-read all those pieces, well over two hundred of them now? For five years I’ve been writing here as the mood strikes me, writing about whatever happens to be in my heart or on my plate, so to speak, without thinking about posterity or publication. Although I write slowly and revise even more slowly, these essays were penned in the moment: snatches of life as it was being lived, my thoughts as they came, glimpses of ordinary days, fleeting beauty, family moments, inner struggles, small revelations.
A couple of weeks ago, I decided to sit down and go back to the very beginning. I would read through all the old posts with as much objectivity as I could bring to my own work. And I would find out if the person who began writing here in August of 2009 is someone I still recognize and am interested in today.
The answer is yes – in ways that are both humbling and reassuring at the same time. And so for now I’ll just say that I’m going ahead with this project. There will be a book and I think I’ll call it Moments of Seeing: Reflections from an Ordinary Life, for that’s really what these pieces are. Of course if you’re here now, reading, you already know that.
I’m editing as I go, working toward a late spring deadline so we’ll have finished books available in the fall. The process of pausing to look back, and reading through this work one essay at a time, is emotionally akin to paging through an old photo album — a combination of sadness for what’s over and gratitude for what was, for what is, for what lasts. Already, a few days into it, I find myself reflecting on the passage of time in a different way, with perhaps an even deeper awareness of life’s fleetingness, its infinite beauty, its preciousness.
This morning I got up early. My mom and I are spending a few days alone together in Florida. It’s quiet here by the canal where her house is. There are baby mourning doves in a nest by the front door. Hot days and still nights. Bird song from dawn till dusk and bougainvillea in bloom. We have no plans for this time and so I have hours each day to work. I love taking a walk as the sun comes up, before the heat of the day settles in. And then returning to coffee, oranges, toast, and all these old pieces to edit. Here is one I came to just now, from August 2010. The last line is still true.
one good thing
A young father lay dying. Our sons, then in third grade together, had been playmates since kindergarten. When word came that Richard’s cancer had returned, I’d brought soup to the door, then lemon cake. They were small gestures, just a way to say, “I am thinking of you.” One day I stayed on to chat with Richard in the quiet house and later his wife Jane called and asked if perhaps I could come again.
“Richard is comfortable with you,” she said. “And we are going to need some help here. I think what he’d like most, really, is someone to talk to.”
So it was that in the midst of my busy life with two small children, I was invited to pause and draw close to death.
Richard’s decline was slow. There was time enough for the work of letting go. As the months went by he moved from the sofa in the sun-drenched living room to the darkened bedroom upstairs. He went from recounting anecdotes of his childhood into a tape recorder for his boys to hear when he was gone, to listening while my friend Lisa and I took turns reading the Tibetan Book of Living and Dying aloud at this bedside. Festive meals shared at the kitchen table evolved into sips of coffee and bites of cake amongst the bed pillows. There was nothing to do day after day but show up with an open heart. The lesson, I came to see, was all about being there — allowing, listening, learning to be less afraid of what might come and more accepting of things as they were.
“How are you doing?” I asked him once as the end drew near, not sure at all how to ask my real question: “How can anyone suffer so, and yet go on?”
I think often, still, of Richard’s answer, given with a smile. “As long as there is one good thing in every day,” he said, “life is worth living.”
One good thing. Most days, I lose count by breakfast time.
Love this and love you! xo
Thank you, Katrina. I love that idea of one good thing…and find that making gratitude a daily practice, morning and night, helps to see the immense blessings I experience each and every day. So happy to know you’re editing and publishing, and am eager to see how the book grows and evolves.
Katrina, I am so happy you decided to publish your blogs, and I can’t wait for the book to be released. Yes, I can re-read them online, but having all of them in a book in my hand is going to be such a joy – like a conversation with a dear friend over a cup of tea!
I have followed your blog from Day One, and remember the piece about Richard. It’s funny how your pieces always strike a chord in my life at the perfect time, and this “rerun” is no different. We lost my cousin David on Easter Sunday, after a valiant battle with ocular melanoma. The doctors said he wasn’t supposed to see last Christmas, yet he defied all of them. On Good Friday he told his wife he was going to die on Easter Sunday, so he could rise with his Lord. And that’s exactly how it happened. His spirit never wavered, his attitude positive until the last.
Thank you as always for sharing your thoughts. Happy Spring!
i do agree…you can go back a few years later, read something, and it may strike a totally different cord.. what a wonderful thing it will be to have your blogs all in one place to pick up whenever one wants. Great idea
Yay! I am so glad you have decided to do a book, Katrina. I look forward to its release in the Fall. Xo
I’m grateful to you for sharing these and for going back to make them a cohesive book that people will be able to hold in their hands when they need it.
The moments of seeing you’ve recounted in this blog have so often reminded me to cherish my own ordinary moments. Now that your collected insights will be gathered into book form, your ordinary moments will be transformed into a volume of extraordinary wisdom. This is wonderful news!
I am thrilled that you will be putting together a “Reflections” book. Your writings have been so inspirational for me and have made me feel that I am not alone in my thoughts and fears of going through life.
What marvelous news, Katrina! I cannot wait to add Moments of Seeing to my library shelf! I’m happy for you and ridiculously happy for all of us who love the words you share here.
Much love to you, my friend. xoxo
That is so beautiful,Katrina! I missed the original, so thank you for sharing it again.
gratitude and grace, even in the most difficult of times – personified in your friend Richard, and alive in your memory of him today – thanks
Thank you for sharing. I look forward to purchasing your new publication in the fall.
Katrina,
I am so happy you are going to write a book about your blogs. As I told you when you spoke in Richmond, Va, that I have been following you since 2009. Your words have inspired me and you are definitely one of my favorite writers. Then to meet you and you are as real as your words with such a gift!
I am reading Tibetan Book of Living and Dying for the third time, FYI and thought of you!
Thank you for sharing your gift!
Hugs,
Jen
What wonderful news, Katrina! And so lovely to have a new project in your midst! You’ve been in my thoughts lately – maybe we’re due to bump into each other. Enjoy your time with your mom. XO
Every once in a while I do come up with a great idea!! — As a devoted reader, I am proud to claim being one who suggested this compilation and cannot wait til it comes to fruition… I would even go as far to say that I would love to have a daily message from you — even if it is only two sentences — your words, whether many or few, always deliver the same impact with style and grace. Thank you, Katrina!
My boys are 16 and 18 now, and I discovered you and Mitten Strings for God when they were 1 and 3. This post, along with much of your writing continues to move me, deeply.
Thanks for sharing your gift with us. Keep writing….
Oh hooray! A new book! Enjoy the sun and your mom!
So pleased you’re doing a collection of your blogs. Now I know what all my women friends will be getting for Christmas! What a wonderful gift for us all.
Congratulations Katrina! I remember reading this blog about Richard when you first wrote it. Rereading it now it is just as wonderful, and poignant as it was originally! A reminder that is sage, and timeless advice…One good thing each day. We all need to remember that. Putting all your blog posts together into one book will make a wonder gift as well!
Have you read Cheryl Strayed’s DEAR SUGAR? It is a book with a compilation of all her advice columns in one place. I had never read them before, and loved having one place to read them.
I hope you include your photo’s as well!
We are here to become your MOMENTS OF SEEING team!
Katrina, thank you for the reminder of being grateful. I had not had breakfast when I read your words and the negativity thoughts were already creeping into my mind. Such a powerful reminder.
I am very excited about your upcoming publication.
beautiful. one good thing. a new creed by which to live. thank you. bless you. and i am so thrilled to hear you are culling through the essays, weaving into something beautiful to hold in our hands…..and hearts, of course….
I am pleased to hear your plans to publish! I remember this post, and the lemon cake recipe you shared, Katrina. I’ve made it a few times–delicious. I savored it more, knowing the story you shared regarding it. You can see pictures here: http://stepsandstaircases.tumblr.com/post/50289158791/baking-a-cake-just-because-inspired-by-the
Enjoy your time in Florida!
Fantastic idea! Your blog posts have been my inspiration for years. I’ll be first in line for a signed copy!
I am so happy to hear that you will be bringing out a book of your blogs. I can hardly wait.
Lovely…absolutely lovely.
Great news about the book Katrina!
Life is particularly challenging for me right now and today’s blog post came at the perfect time for me. I can visualize your mom’s home and space. How lovely to have this dedicated writing time in her midst. Like others have said, I love your posts and they always touch my heart. Go gently.
I cannot WAIT to get my hands on this book! xoxoxox
Always moved by your pieces. Thank you for sharing. I look forward to your book. Congratulations on moving forward with publication.
Go for it! What a fantastic idea. I love everything you write and putting all the essays together in one book is a great idea. Evenn though these pieces are on your blog, I would love to have them in a book, on my shelf, to pull off and touch the page while i read. I look forward to when it will be published. I would get one for myself and buy many for my friends.
Thank you, Katrina, for sharing this touching and moving piece. Looking forward to rereading all your essays in a book. A good friend is going through a difficult time with cancer now, and I loved your friend, Richard’s response. One good thing a day…..
I remember when my father was very ill. He said that if he could wake up in the morning and see the sun and my mother’s face, that was a good day. Always be thankful for the little things in life. Those are the most precious moments of all. Even now that my children are young adults, it is the quality of time spent that they cherish, not quantity. I look forward to this new book as I always look forward to your essays. They are like devotionals, a thought-provoking, meditative reading to inspire my day. Thank you for your inward soul-searching.
Katrina,
I would encourage you to publish your blogs. I read a few yet your voice is very distinct, direct and intimate – a dropping in quality which so nourishes. I recently re-read Anne Morrow Lindbergh’s Gift from the Sea over 25 years after it made its rounds through the many women in my family. (Near the beach on vacation, it was a lovely way to feel close to my mother who died three years ago and loved the book.) I thought of your writing. . . 60 years later, her book still resonates with women. Yes, publish it. Your reflections resonate too.
Every day you spend with your mother in Florida is like a gift of kindness for you both. Enjoy the slower pace, and the colorful skies, and take time to smell the flowers. You’ll be glad you did. Thanks for writing.
I am so excited you will be doing another book. I can’t wait to read it. Having faithfully followed your posts for so many years, I know it will be wonderful. Your writing is truly inspirational.
Looking forward to your new book, your writing really touches the heart,
Savour your time with your Mom, I lost mine many years ago and I would
give anything just to have a few days with her and be able to ask her all
the things I just never got around to. I am sure your Mom has lots of wisdom
she would love to share with you if you would only ask while you still can.
Happy writing.
Even though I have read nearly every post here since you began, I know I would love a collection of them to hold in my hands. Thank you for going ahead with this project. I look forward it!
yes, yes and YES!! Hugs and love to you.
-melody
Katrina,
Beautiful as always! I will welcome such a book from you!! We’ll be waiting!
Such exciting news, Katrina! So many times I have found myself going back to
one of your blogs for inspiration, guidance and the serenity of your words.
Yay! Another Katrina Kenison book to buy and underline…and dog ear corners of it’s pages! I am thrilled. I think that is a great “one good thing” for my day and time of struggle!
Thank you for sharing this piece from years past. It IS timeless…and as a hospice chaplain a lovely reminder that my work is more about being than doing. What a blessing for our paths to cross again after all these years. Again, thank you.
Dear Katrina,
I’m delighted to know of your new book adventure. We last met when you were introducing “Magical Journey” at the New England Independent Booksellers’ show in Providence. I had read all your others and was pleased to pick up where “Ordinary Day” left off. When I asked if you were working on the next book, I think you said something like, “Oh, it will be a—long—time before I’ll be writing another.” As I began to read your blog, I thought your essays could easily be compiled for the next one. Your husband created a special version for you as a Christmas present one year—now the rest of us will have one, too. Thank you so much.
So glad I went on to read this post as well Katrina. Great news!! I look forward to picking up a few for Christmas celebrations. We are planning a famiily reunion in PB this Christmas to celebrate my son’s wedding to his Aussie bride. Lot’s of family around. Gifts sorted. I had to smile as for some reason, I started the day at the beginning, always afraid to go there, unsure of what I would discover. It has been an intersting journey. I am highlighting the ones that resonate and ones I think my children will enjoy reading one day. I had this down as a goal when I wrote the post for you last year and am finally getting around to doing something about it. Your last piece on Richard is heartwarming…”one good thing in every day”. I will add reading your posts to it. All the best Katrina.. xx
Hi Katrina, reading your story of Richard’s passing brought memories of my husband Frank’s passing 13 years ago. For one month after Christmas until January 25th I sat by his side in San Francisco’s hospital and watched as his health deteriorated. We never talked of the possibility he might never return home or what he thought of all this. That’s something I regret. Our original hometown was in the East and we had been living on the West coast a long while. I would love to know what he thought I should do if he left me. at that time our children were all on their own with families. One time we were sipping wine on our swing on the patio and he said if he died while we were living in Ca. I could bury him there if I wanted to and I told him I couldn’t do that as we had a plot hack home where our baby daughter was buried and his parents were also. that was the closest we came to talking about death. I don’t know if he had a premonition of some sort. Well, I had him buried in our family plot in Pgh. and I travel there to visit my sisters and his grave once in a while. Anyway, I realize when your the one left behind it is your decision to make the best of whatever time is left for you. I have made a life for myself in a whole new setting and I’ve been fortunate to have 3 of my 5 children nearby.
This started as a chance to air my regrets for not having a conversation with my wonderful husband about life and death while he was still here and I apolagize for rambling on. I love your blogs, they make me think, all good thoughts . thank you Katrina.
s
Katrina
I love your posts ~ and look forward to the book.
The day you posted this thought provoking one~ 4-11-15 was my daughters 30th birthday and I smiled today~ thinking she is so often part of my good things each day
Thank you,
Renee