A few years ago, I packed all my child-raising books into shopping bags and delivered them to the used bookstore. It didn’t mean my mothering days were over, of course, but I figured that from here on out I should be able to manage on my own. My sons were young adults, after all, our struggles over bedtimes and screen time and green vegetables and messy rooms were already ancient history. We were forging new relationships with each other – complicated, yes, but I couldn’t imagine ever again turning to an “expert” for advice on how to get along with my kids.
And then I met Bonnie Harris. Bonnie is a faithful yogi like me, and we often find ourselves side by side in the challenging class we both like to take on Thursday nights. I’d known since moving to town that Bonnie is a revered family counselor and parent educator, that she’s in demand as a speaker all over the world, and that we even shared a New York publisher. I’d heard good things about Bonnie’s book When Kids Push Your Buttons even before meeting her in person.
But what really impressed me about Bonnie was her headstand, which she performs with ease right out in the middle of the room. (I’m not the only one who admires Bonnie’s ability to hang out upside down; in class she’s known as Headstand Bonnie.)
Eventually, Bonnie and I became friends outside of class, and that’s when we first exchanged our books. “Reading The Gift of an Ordinary Day was like having coffee with my best friend,” Bonnie told me, as we finally did sit down to have coffee together.
And reading Bonnie’s most recent book, Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids, was like meeting my long-lost parenting soul mate. It made me a little sad, too, as I found myself wishing we HAD been friends for years, instead of waiting so long before we finally rolled up our yoga mats and started our conversation.
I try to stay away from regret for what might have been, but I’ll admit to some here. “If only I’d had Bonnie in my corner fifteen years ago,” I found myself thinking on every page. “If only I’d read this book back when the gap between the parent I yearned to be and the day-to-day reality often seemed unbridgeable.”
There’s no doubt in my mind that my own parenting journey would have been much smoother if I’d known about Bonnie’s philosophy of Connective Parenting all along – back when my son’s temper tantrums were so scary and confusing to us both, or when every instinct I had was telling me that “time-out” wasn’t a great idea but I wasn’t certain enough to try an alternative, or when my desire to be the best mother I could be came up against other people’s ideas about how my children should behave or how I should discipline them.
Bonnie is the parenting guide I yearned for during all those years of raising two very different, uniquely challenging little boys. She’s the wise teacher I searched for in vain in my stacks of how-to books, books that never quite spoke to what I knew in my heart to be true: that the key to success for both parents and children isn’t to improve our kids, but to improve our relationship with them.
And here’s the funny thing: I was absolutely wrong about not ever needing any more advice about motherhood. In fact, there isn’t a single relationship in my life that couldn’t benefit from a little more compassion and empathy, from a little nurturing attention, from a wise observer’s thoughtful insight.
The foundation of Connective Parenting is pretty simple, and it’s all about perception. Connective Parenting begins with the understanding that a child’s resistance or defiance doesn’t mean that he or she is being a problem, but rather that he or she is having a problem. That’s it. And suddenly we are looking at our child’s behavior not as something that we need to “fix” but as an important clue to their inner struggle in any given moment, a reminder that the way forward is to turn our anger into compassion.
To put this in Bonnie’s words:
Connective Parenting means that the parent takes responsibility for 100% of everything she says and does but does not take responsibility for the child’s feelings or behavior. That is his job, which he learns well through connection, problem-solving and conflict resolution.
Connective Parenting gives parents the methods of connection that nurture, encourage and focus on the child’s strengths rather than inadequacies while setting necessary limits to ensure self-respect and respect for others. It engages the child’s innate sense of fairness and logic.
If we want our children to listen to us, we need to say what they can hear. Not give them what they want, but simply acknowledge and respect what they want. Connective communication encourages listening and talking and feeling important to someone — interaction. Disconnection occurs when we are indifferent as well as critical, blaming and punitive — when we unintentionally push our children away.
It probably goes without saying that this truth doesn’t just apply to screaming toddlers or cranky ten year olds or surly tweens. It goes across the board. As soon as I pause long enough to remember that my husband, my grown son, my dog, my neighbor, my sister-in-law’s behavior arises not from some secret desire to drive me nuts, but from their own pain or fear, then we are well on the road to connection. It’s amazing how quickly anger can be transformed into compassion, resistance into cooperation, annoyance into empathy.
Once every other week, Bonnie’s Connective Parenting newsletter arrives in my email inbox. Usually, when I see her later at yoga, I can’t resist telling her that the latest issue seems as if it were written just for me – even if she’s advising a mother of a twelve-year-old who’s just been caught lying, or the parent of a kindergartener afraid of the dark. It’s not the ages of the children, or the specific parenting issues, that make every post she writes so relevant, but Bonnie’s reminders that no matter what problem I’m struggling with in my own life, there is always something else going on beneath the surface.
My job isn’t to come out swinging and attack the problem, but to explore the root cause – to lead with my heart and to go in search of the truth. With truth and compassion as my compass, I do feel more confident – whether I’m hashing out a budget with my son, disagreeing about a vacation plan with my husband, or engaging in an inner dialogue with my own closet-cleaning-averse self. (I can beat myself up for being a hopeless hoarder of outdated clothes. Or, I can unravel the complex emotions that go along with admitting I will never wear a certain black lace dress again.)
No matter where you are on your own parenting journey, my guess is that Bonnie will meet you there, just as she did me. (To experience her warmth and wisdom first-hand, spend a few minutes with her video.) A few weeks ago, after yoga, Bonnie and I hatched a Mother’s Day plan: to introduce our mothering communities to each other and to give away signed, personalized copies each other’s books on our sites. Bonnie and I are both all about connection, and it’s our pleasure to connect our readers to one another!
Congratulations to Christie and Priscilla, who will each receive signed copies of Bonnie’s book. And thanks to all of you for reading and for commenting!
Sounds like a book I could use! How lucky of you both to have found each other! As for parenting books I loved, Operating Instructions by Anne Lamott was gorgeous.
My absolute favourite books about motherhood are your books, Katrina. 🙂 However, with two teenage sons, I look forward to reading Bonnie’s books – they sound just like what I need!
Christa
Neither fit the “parenting advice” category per se, but have been my favorites to read over and over, and give to new parents:
Mitten Strings for God, and Momma Zen.
What a great recommendation. I also want to get his newsletter. Thank you.
I cannot begin to express how grateful I am to have found you!!
As the mother of 3 young boys, you have given me a gift I am so incredibly thankful for. By viewing your video of “the gift of an ordinary day” you have helped me redirect and focus on the truly important things in my life.. My boys, my husband and our ordinary days!!! Thank You and Happy Mother’s Day!!
I would LOVE these books! One of my favorite “parenting” books would have to be Love Languages for Kids. Sorry I cannot remember the author. It really helped me understand my boys early on.
Thanks!!
I always say I would have disciplined my daughters more and taught them the value of appreciation and optimism when they were young if I ever knew they would grow into this challenging young adults. They were so sweet and tender and I have yielded in always but very happily. Now they are 16 and 18 and I am not sure what happened to those who were always happy and contend on the smallest things. The hesitation of reading parenting books at this stage is exactly like your concerns: “I try to stay away from regret for what might have been”… I am afraid reading will give me the unbearable regrets about what I did wrong and what I should have done…. But with your lovely note, I will try to read Bonnie’s book. After all I have more years with them than the years that I had already. I become sad in May because I lost my mother a few days after the mother’s day. My mother’s birthday is also in may. So my girls and I started our tradition to go away to Cape May during the mother’s day weekend. We made 7 trips so far but this year… As the girls got bigger, I found myself being less exciting about the trip. The memory from the last year’s trip was not something that I want to remember…. so this year, with all possible excuses, I postponed the trip. nobody complains.. but if I start getting some more advices in parenting( since parenting never ends), maybe I will have a courage to resume and enjoy our trip next year.
I also loved Anne Lamott’s operating instructions and of course The Gift of an Ordinary Day. Love this idea and can’t wait to see others suggestions!
This newsletter sounds great. I’m always up for new parenting ideas. Recently I’ve been using the techniques in “If I Have to Tell You One More Time” by Amy McCready.
I treasured “Raising Your Spirited Child”, by Mary Sheedy Kurcinka … it helped me understand my sons’ temperaments, and also that MY temperament was a factor in how situations played out. I loved her positive spin on traits that some people may consider negative.
Count me in! So far I’m loving Conscious Parenting and Momma Zen!
Count me in!
Two of my favorite parenting books that come to mind are: your beautiful book “Mitten Strings for God” and “Everyday Blessings” by Myla and Jon Kabat-Zinn. Thanks for the great giveaway!
Please count me in. Thank you for the opportunity.
I am so excited to read Bonnie’s work! You know how deeply I admire your parenting, so anyone whose work you esteem is automatically an icon to me. xox
Sounds like a book with worthy information to share with parents. As a teacher I’m always looking for whole hearted resources!
Thanks for the opportunity to win!
“The Gift of an Ordinary Day” changed the way I looked at how I was raising my daughter. You took me to a place in my future, and it has allowed me to relax a bit with regard to social pressures, winning, being the best, etc. Your writing is truly a gift. Thank you!
Count me in!
would love another book, bonnie’s philosophy resonates with me; working so so hard to really put it into practice!
tbanks!
I’d love a copy of the book! Of course, my favorite parenting library books include “Mitten Strings for God” but also “Five Love Languages” by Gary Chapman (I’ve recently moved on to the book for teens!) and “My Monastery is a Minivan” and “Momfulness” by Denise Roy. Happy Mother’s Day!
Me, too! That’s what I hear from one of my three children, all day long! I love Bonnie’s books (and am a certified Buttons educator!) and I’m looking forward to reading your books, too!
Count me in as well. I just completed the first half of When Your Kids Push You Buttons course with Bonnie. I am so deeply grateful that I found her as I have previously felt so hopeless about ever becoming the mother that I know I can be. I would be all over that book!!
Katrina
I can’t wait to order a copy of Bonnie’s book. If you love her, I just know that I will too!
Sounds good! I could use some advice with three teens and an almost ten year old!
Count me in!!!!
Oh how I need this book to turn around my relationship with one of my boys…he just wants to be heard and I just want him to listen..true connection is our missing piece in many of our interactions. Thanks for the intro to Bonnie!!!
A must read for all parents is, “The Entitlement Trap” by Richard and Linda Eyre.
I am so grateful for your books, thank you. Happy Mother’s Day!
I love the description of this book. I have read many parenting books and my favourites are ones written by moms sharing their experiences.
Your books and blog posts have been a great guiding light for me over the years. I feel lucky to be one step behind you (my boys are 17 and 14) so I can learn from your recent experiences.
I’m heading over to sign up for Bonnie’s newsletter. Would love to add her books to my favorites shelf!
Also, the classic How to Talk So Kids Will Listen book is a long standing bible for me, even into the teen years.
I am struggling with connecting with my 13 year old son! These early teen years have completely bewildered me!! “Connective parenting” has struck a cord with me. I need to find out more! Already signed up for Bonnie’s newsletter – thanks for the recommendation!
Favorite parenting book for young parents: “The Blessing of a Skinned Knee” by Wendy Mogel, Ph.D I have many margin notes and post it notes sticking out of my copy!!!
I could never quite put into words why your book “The Gift of an Ordinary Day” touched me so. When you wrote what Bonnie said; “Reading The Gift of an Ordinary Day was like having coffee with my best friend,” I gasped as that’s exactly how I felt!! I look forward to reading one of Bonnie’s books too! Another parenting book I loved, loved was Penelope Leitch’s From Birth to Five years.
Almost forgot, Happy Mother’s Day!!!
As a mom of two boys (ages 11 and 12), and an educational psychologist, I have a book that I’ve used professionally and loved reading in anticipation of the teen years right around the corner. It’s called Why do they act that way? by David Walsh. I’ve also devoured and loved all of Katrina’s books.
count me in! Your books are my favorites!!
Count me in!
Count me in! A book that helped me as my two (very different) sons were growing into adulthood and becoming far less less “adoring” of me as their mother, was “Walking on Eggshells.” (Can’t remember the author). A wise bit of counsel about how to see and give them what they REALLY needed.
Your video about “The Gift of an Ordinary Day”really spoke to me and drew me into your website, your books, and now into Bonnie Harris too. I have 14 and 16 year old sons and I can really relate to almost everything you have written! Thanks so much for counting me in!
I wish I would have had this book 15 years ago too. But I really don’t think I would have the same peace that I do now about all things. Time and years give us a chance to look back, reflect and try to move forward better.
Even though my kids are grown, I still need the advice from this book.
As my son prepares for surgery tomorrow and his fiance goes with him to the hospital, I am feeling a bit left out. Would love to read about moms and how they let go….as their kids get older.
Count me in!
I like anything by Annie Lamott and recently Dwight Lee Wolter. The growth of parenting, grandparenting or any relationship continues long after the kids are grown, as we use those skill for others in our lives.
Connecting and building better relationships sounds good even to those of us without young children. Count me in!
My children are grown but I’d love these books to help me even now and I’d like to share them with my daughter who has 2 little boys.
Your books are my favorites. I also like Alfie Cohen. Thank you for sharing and for the opportunity to win.
I adore Simplicity Parenting by Kim John Payne!
Count me in!
Love Bonnie’s books and I am excited to be introduced to yours.
My lifesaver books are “Non-violent Communication” and “the Five Love Languages of Children”. For all my relationships in life these two have guided me to my best.
Aloha!
I would love to have a chance to win too! Thank you for recommending Bonnie. I am looking forward to checking out her website further. I have many favorite parenting books, and Kim John Payne’s Simplicity Parenting is one that I often go back to, for it was one of the few that deeply rang true for me.
My children are 24 and 21 now. I still meet with my best friend for coffee once
a week to discuss our lives. She, too, is
a therapist, and by far, our favorite book is “The gift of an Ordinary Day”. We
try to live by that mantra and appreciate its meaning. As Mother’s Day
draws closer, what I wouldn’t give for just one more ordinary day with my mother who passed away in 2010.
I have loved Buddhism for Mothers and Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children by Sarah Napthali…they are all about becoming a mindful parent and are beautifully written. Just started reading The Gift of an Ordinary Day and have just finished and loved Magical Journey. So much to read, plenty to learn
Last night was the first time I have ever heard of you or your book. I saw a video on Facebook. I felt as if everything that swirls around in my head had been written down on paper & you were reading my thoughts out loud. I have an 18 year old son who is graduating from high school in 3 weeks, a 4 year old son who is in preschool, and a 3 year old mama’s boy who stays home with me around the clock. I wish I could pause time and live in this moment for the rest of my life. You’re words were so touching. I had chills & tears were filled in my eyes. I can’t wait to read all of your books, and Bonnie’s as well! Thank you for writing!!!
Sincerely,
Katie
I’m always thrilled to hear of another book that isn’t about changing our children to suit our needs. I’ll have to pick Bonnie’s up (and likely add it to my list of recommendations). I love your books Katrina, and another favorite is Respectful Parents, Respectful Kids by Victoria Kindle Hodson and Sura Hart.
Thanks for offering a wonderful book and an opportunity to win. I like Unconditional Parenting: Moving from Rewards and Punishments to Love and Reason by Alfie Kohn and Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood by Karen Maezen Miller.
My favorite parenting books are Momma Zen, Hand wash cold both by Karen Maezen Miller and The Gift of an Ordinary day, Mitten Strings from God from Katrina Kenison and being a Mom of a preemie, the book Preemie. These books has help me a lot to be more forgiving to myself and more accepting in what life has given me. Thank you ladies for the inspiration amd wisdom.
My favorite parenting books are A Gift From the Sea and Mitten Strings from God. When my kids were under the age of two, Dr Sears “The Baby Book” reassured me that meeting my children’s needs would not spoil them and that following one’s own instincts is best!
I have clicked on and joined Bonnie`s blog mainly on your recommendation, hoping your choice of blogs will be as excellent as your choice of words to express simple day-to-day things in a soul-stirring eloquent way. I would love to be able to read your book ` The gift of an Ordinary Day` and also Bonnie`s book ‘Confident Parents, Remarkable Kids.’ With 3 young daughters, my wife and I are always on the lookout for good tips to bring them up to become healthy and happy and well- adjusted adults. As Khalil Gibran says…children do not belong to parents and are only on loan to them from God. Fingers crossed that my name will be picked as one of the select few who get copies of these 2 books.
count me in!
I know I can still use parenting advice as I’m in a stage with a teen son who is unraveling before my eyes. My favorite parenting books are by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend, “Raising Great Kids”, “Boundaries with Kids” and “Boundaries with Teens”.
listen to your heart and please count me in. Lx
As a mother of two teens I am SURE I could use this book!
I just ordered “Confident Parents” and look forward to reading and sharing with other parents. I am the mother of two teenage boys, and a Family Day Care Provider to infants and preschoolers. Every day, I am blessed to be a part of 5
families growth experience, and I am honored that the parents look to me to help guide them as they go through the adventures of their child’s development.
Married 34 years – no children – but deeply appreciate that parenting is one of the most important jobs in the world. We have enjoyed being in the lives of nieces, nephews and friends’ kids. Just held a one-month old and am thinking Bonnie’s book might be a lovely gift for his Mom and Dad.
I have been addicted to parenting manuals since my daughter turned 13. I LOVED the Available Parent by john duffy. That was So helpful! Have read Gift of Ordinary Day and loved it but I too felt the coulda woulda shoulda…..Lovely read though
Please count me in. Thank you!
Please count me in. I love your books and your blog!
The Gift of an Ordinary Day is my favorite.
Thank you!
I have loved all your books Katrina.
Quite difficult to choose another, but I guess it would be Denise Roy’s ‘My Monastery Is A Minivan.’
Thank you for this blog! x
I so enjoy reading your blog. I find it to be a confirmation for myself that I am not alone with my thoughts on so many topics. I M still a parent that is a work in progress. I would definitely benefit by reading this book. I sure would love to be in your Thursday yoga class . Thank you for all you do.
Thank you for introducing me to Bonnie. I look forward to reading her book. I have a 14 and 16 year old boys. You know how that goes. I really haven’t read many parenting books as I like to listen to my intuition but at this moment in my relationship with my boys, I could use some outside insight. Thank you. By the way, I do love your books. Have a wonderful weekend.
My daughter is only 5 so I have lots of time left! This book seems so wonderful, just like all of yours.
Loved The Gift of an Ordinary Day and am lucky to have gone to one of Bonnie’s workshops but regret not having fully drawn upon her wisdom and practiced her lessons, with two almost-grown children. Also appreciate How to Talk So your Kids Will Listen and Listen So Your Kids Will Talk, forget the authors’ names. Thanks for a great profile of Bonnie Harris and what she means to you.
First of all, Happy Mother’s Day! “Parenting Without Power Struggles” by Susan Stiffelman is a book that has given me a lot of great parenting tools. Bonnie’s book sounds great too. I love her philosophy that our children don’t need fixing, but understanding and connection.
It was so wonderful getting to meet you in Nashville last week, and well worth the 4.5 hour round-trip drive. You are truly an inspiration and the encouragement you impart in your blog each week is so valuable to me as a mother of two young children. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Count me in, please!
I am in the middle of a difficult time with a tween now. I’ve made it to the other side with my 19 yo — but with my 12 year old daughter the next few years stretch out like eternity.
Please count me in!
I give all new moms “mitten Strings for God” (as my mom did me) and “simplicity parenting”. Every book you’ve recommended has been golden, so I’m in!
Oh, I’m so excited to get the news of a parenting book that might be just what I’m looking for. I have a strong willed wonderful 8 yr old son and I just finished “You Can’t Make Me, but I can be Persuaded” by Catherine Ulrich Tobias. It helped me deepen my love and understanding of my son. It is so hard to parent when my parents do not understand my son and his needs and keep telling me I’m doing the wrong thing:( Thank you for this post!
It’s not a book I’d like to recommend, but rather a blog. I love to read “Five Kids is a Lot of Kids”, because it’s funny and realistic and puts things in perspective. Sometimes that’s enough to boost my confidence and enable me to be a better mom. The URL for the blog is “putdowntheurinalcake.com”.
I also love your blog and books, Katrina, because they help me figure out how to be me.
Thanks for offering the chance to win this book! Happy Mother’s Day!
My favorite parenting books have actually been yours! I have given them to my sisters-in-law as they have had their children, and to many friends as well. I am intrigued to read Bonnie’s books, especially as my children are getting older (not quite tweens yet, but getting there). They sound like just what I need right now! And what a blessing for the two of you to have found a friendship with each other. Thank you, as always, for your wonderful recommendations and inspiring words.
Always loved Else Holelund Minarik’s Little Bear books. Wanted to be a calm good mother like Little Bear’s Mom!
The 5 Love Languages by Gary Chapman is also a favorite. So helpful in understanding not only kids but husbands and yourself as well.
My daughter is 13 and oh how I miss those ordinary days when she was just a little girl! I am trying to enjoy these days as well, but it is hard trying to figure out how to connect with her.
I haven’t read a lot of parenting books but I like the Love Languages and also personality type books. I like understanding who my kids are and making parenting decisions from that place.
Oh, please count me in. I could use some parenting counselling!
I have never heard of connective parenting. You hooked me with the no time out.
Count me in. I dont know where to build a relationship when she defiantly does not want one.
I must regrettably admit that I have not read your books, but since seeing your video on Facebook and crying my eyes out, I have read all of your emails. Your newest book is on my list to buy, along with many of the ones mentioned above, and now, Bonnie’s too. To date, the book that has helped me as a parent is “Boundaries with Kids”. I think it has been around a while, but has helped me stay calm and in control with the “that’s not fair” days of parenting. I have three in the throws of puberty, so those days come pretty often. Happy Mother’s Day to all!
count me in!
“Understanding that a child’s resistance or defiance doesn’t mean that he or she is being a problem, but rather that he or she is having a problem.” That sentence is a timely reminder for me today as my daughter struggles to get through the last few weeks of a miserable school year. Her struggle is painful for me, and I desperately want to be able to fix the problem for her, but I can’t. This post was an inspiration to me and reminds me that even if I can’t “fix” things for her, the best way for me to help her is to empathize with her and be compassionate. I would love to win Bonnie’s book!
I enjoyed reading “Feathers from my Nest” by Beth Moore.She writes about her motherhood journey and about how she deals with her empty nest.
I thought my mothering days were over now that my daughters are 34 and 32 but in the past years they have both provided me with my very first grandsons! When my girls were little I so wanted to be the perfect mother and i tried my best but there are so many things I wish i had done differently, e.g. Following my instintcts more.
Now that i am a grandmother I want to be the best I can be and especially want to nurture close relationships with my two precious grandsons. I would love a copy of this book to assist me in this very special time of my life.
My daughter would love this book as we await our first grandchild.
after all . . . parenting is the most important job we could ever have, and there is no training.
It is nice to know that you and Bonnie Harris are friends. I found you both through different sources, and love the philosophies you have on raising children. You are two of my favorites! I haven’t read too many parenting books yet (the Gift of an Ordinary Day is next on my nightstand), but I love the poem, “Children Learn What They Live” by Dorothy Law Nolte.
Mitten Strings for God is just a wonderful and thoughtful book! Wish I had found it when my kids were little.
Katrina, your books definitely make me feel like I’ve just sat down to have coffee with a best friend. I would love to win these books on parenting to share with my daughter who is mothering a two-year-old. I hope your Mother’s Day is filled with many, many blessings and moments of grace.
The most important parenting book I read was The Explosive Child: A New Approach for Understanding and Parenting Easily Frustrated, Chronically Inflexible Children by Ross W. Greene. It changed everything. Traditional parenting does not work for every child. He also has a new one called: Lost at School: Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them.
thank you for this exquisite and generous offering. I have absolutely loved and been inspired by your books, katrina (especially in this sacred center-of-childhood moment with an 8- and almost 10-year-old) as well as continuum concept by jean liedloff, magical child by joseph chilton pearce, unconditional parenting by alfie kohn, everyday blessings by myla and jon kabat-zinn, and momma zen by karen maezen miller (especially as a new mama).
Count me in! What a wonderful idea!! Thank you . Happy mothers day to all!
I liked “Parenting by the Book” by John Rosemond.
Thank you for all of you inspiration
and recognizing the introverts.
Count me in.
Susie
I often worry that I am “overdoing”….everything! Worrying about how to talk to my children, if they even hear me, am I setting the right example for them, etc. My son is 6 and my daughter just turned 3. The other day at a local outdoor flower store, as I was desparately searching quickly for flowers with my children in tow, braving the unexpected cold and wind, out of the corner of my eye, I saw my son take off his jacket and give it to his sister. I turned and before I could speak, he said “Daddy always gives you his jacket when you’re cold Mommy.” With tears in my eyes, I hugged him and felt a moment of peace. We are setting a good example. We are getting it right. At least for now.
Thank you Katrina for you constant words of encouragement and recommendations of great authors.
Happy Mother’s Day to all!
Count me in!
Hi Katrina, I loved your book Magical Journey. Even though we’re at different life stages (I have 3 kids 3 years and below), your book spoke to me. It made me look at everything around me differently, to slow down and savour the moments with my kids in the knowledge that time passes by too quickly. Thank you so much. My parenting book recommendation is “Everyday Blessings: The inner work of mindful parenting” by Jon and Myla Kabat-Zinn.
The Gift Of An Ordinary Day gave me the gift of finding joy in the small things and making me feel “normal” with what was happening in my life. Same can be said about The Magical Journey. Thanks Katrina! Your words and musings always resonate with me!
I have read many of the wonderful books mentioned above. I especially loved the Buddhism for Mothers and Buddhism for Mothers of Young Children by Sarah Napthali and your book, The Gift of an Ordinary Day.
As a mom of a child on the autism spectrum, I could really relate to this book, Easy to Love but Hard to Raise: Real Parents, Challenging Kids, True Stories. It made me feel less alone.
Please count me in.
Would love to gain wisdom through Bonnie’s words and thoughts on parenting.
count me in 🙂
I love The Blessings of a Skinned Knee as well as Mitten Strings for God, of course!
With a 7 year old, 5 year old and 1 year old I’m in the midst of the day-to-day! The Gift of an Ordinary Day was a gift indeed, helping me see the bigger picture and therefore allowing me a much deeper appreciation of the little things each day. One of my favorite parenting books so far (and I have certainly read my fair share!) is Simplicity Parenting.
I do need those transformative skills – I am at sea with a pre-tween who seems like a different girl every day of the week, but resists change from anyone else. Sound familiar?
My favorite parenting book is “Following Ezra: What One Father Learned About Gumby, Otters, Autism, and Love From His Extraordinary Son “
Please Please Please Count Me In…Thank you!
Would love a copy of this, as a parent of adult children, wife of my co- empty nest husband and friend to many. The books sound like good, compassionate advice to nurture our treasured relations ships.
I am thrilled to discover Bonnie’s site and her books! I love “Privilege of Parenting” and in terms of novels, “Sutton,” blew me away.
This line was amazing:
My job isn’t to come out swinging and attack the problem, but to explore the root cause – to lead with my heart and to go in search of the truth.
This is what I keep forgetting. Thank you for reminding me of what my real job is!!!
Sounds like a book I could use! If I don’t win I think I will buy it….TY
My boys are about the same age as yours (one in college & one recently graduated), & I enjoyed both Mitten Strings & Gift of an Ordinary Day. Among my favorite parenting guides were the books by Louise Bates Ames. She wrote about two concepts that helped me a great deal. The first was the idea that kids progress through cycles of integrated/disintegrated behavior, roughly every 6 mos, as they reach various developmental stages. They consolidate those behaviors & are comfortable for a while, & then move thru the next unsettled period, until they’ve mastered the following stage. Useful to know, & reassuring that whatever is currently driving you nuts will probably pass. The second idea is simple, but profound: Respect even the smallest child as an individual. When I remembered to start there, things tended to go well. Would love to read Bonnie’s books, & share them with friends!
Finding “The Gift of an Ordinary Day” was a life-changer for me as a mother.
It put into words what I’d been feeling inside but had been unable to articulate. I then had the great privilege of seeing Katrina speak in LA and was even able to ask her a question. I was so moved by the book and her talk that I got teary as I spoke. Again, I was not alone. Lots of moms cried when they asked their questions too. Together we can! Happy Mother’s Day everyone. xxx
I am new to your writing but have found comfort and insight in what I have read. I recently signed up for your blog posts and look forward to their arrival. Thank you for sharing your gift of prose with the world.
Kathy
Count me in.
Count me in! I’ve only read a few parenting books, but I’m relatively new to the scene with a 2.5-year-old son, so I’m interested to see what others have suggested. 🙂
Count me in, please. I would love to gift my daughter with this book. Sounds wonderful. Happy Mother’s Day!
Thanks for the opportunity! I love Momma Zen be Karen Maezen Miller and A Field Guide to Now by Christina Rosalie. Thank you for introducing me to Bonnie’s writing. I just looked at her blog and it is a wonderful resource.
Count me in! What a great reminder and timeliness of mothers day. Our children have made us mothers. Bonnie’s principles sound similar to Attachment Parenting, intrigued to learn more.
I have loved all of Katrina’s books as a parent and have recommended them to the parents I work with in our district’s Early Childhood Family Education (ECFE). I have used and loved Mary Sheedy Kurcinka’s books, David Walsh’s books, especially Why Do They Act That Way and Say Yes to No. My new favorites are Peaceful Parents Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham and all the Positive Discipline books by Jane Nelson/Lynn Lott. Count me in as I’d love to read another great connections parenting book!
Count me in! I love the sound of this book!!
I have read many many books on parenting, especially ones relating to children with learning disabilities. I can’t say I have a favorite; each book I’ve read gives me another piece to the puzzle. But I love this: “Connective Parenting begins with the understanding that a child’s resistance or defiance doesn’t mean that he or she is being a problem, but rather that he or she is having a problem.” Just recently I had to explain to another parent that my son was not acting in defiance or teenage ‘whatever’ that she suggested. He saw the situation differently and was having a problem with that. So I am excited to have the opportunity to read Bonnie’s book. And, Katrina, your book “The Gift of an Ordinary Day”, was the first book my bookclub read together (my suggestion). It was our way of getting to know each other. Thank you. Donna
I definately want to check out her blog. Many times I feel lost at what to do with my complete opposite sons.
Please count me in. Thank you!
Please count me in! I love your books, Katrina, and would also recommend anything by Madeline Levine (Teach Your children Well: Parenting for Authentic Success and the Price of Privilege), also the book Quiet that totally validates introverts and their more quiet power.
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COUNT ME IN!! Something drew me to your website today!! Could really use Bonnie’s books for guide with my sixteen yr old son who is near perfect (which I know doesn’t exist) but who constantly pushes my buttons!! thank you for you inspiration..loved getting your emails and fbook posts!
Count me in!
Count me in!
Count me in. I just returned from a wonderful but intense visit my adult son. As I process all the emotions and concerns and love stirred up by the visit, I found myself struggling and then I read the following words in your post.
“As soon as I pause long enough to remember that my husband, my grown son, my dog, my neighbor, my sister-in-law’s behavior arises … from their own pain or fear, then we are well on the road to connection.”
Thanks.
I would love to read yours and Bonnie’s books. I’ll sign up for the newsletter as well 🙂
My all time favorite parenting book is “kiss me” by Carlos Gonzales.
Please count me in! These beautiful books sound like something I could use. I am not only glad that you two found each other but that I found you two. Always appreciative of your posts!
Count me in!!
Count me in!
How wonderful to come across this e-mail and so timely as I am on the cusp of getting together my “suggested” reads for my mom friends! Your three books will be included (each of your books highlights such different but important mothering messages!) and now it looks like I will be including a new one. I can’t wait to take your suggestion of your friend’s/colleague’s book. And as I’m typing this: “connective parenting” speaks to the relationship between the parent and child, obviously, but ideas like this actually connects parents to each other too–in telling each other of resources that have worked for us! How great! So the book I would add to what others have mentioned is “Raising an emotionally intelligent child. The heart of parenting.” By John Gottman. I also just this week was at a seminar and the Myers-Briggs personality test was a large part of it. It’s not an end all-be all as far as self awareness goes, but I think what was a very helpful lesson is that by understanding various facets of our born personality traits we can better recognize our children’s natural personality traits and parent more appropriately as well…Anyway, thanks again for all the parent connecting you have done in sharing your journey in your books, and now through your blog and beyond!