It is still dark as I type these words, though I’ve been awake for hours on this snow-hushed morning of the year’s shortest day.
Soon, I will turn lights on, brew coffee, let the dog out, confront the pile of unwrapped Christmas gifts in the basement. But here in the shadowed quiet before dawn, I’m thinking of gifts that aren’t wrapped and placed under a tree. Gifts that are hidden within each of us, waiting to be brought forth and shared with the world.
This week, to celebrate Henry’s birthday, our family went to see the dark, dazzling revival of “Pippin” at the American Repertory Theatre in Harvard Square. “How far will you go to be extraordinary?” the show’s narrator asks Pippin, an aimless young man with oversized hopes and dreams who’s desperate to find his “corner of the sky.” Will he choose a life that’s mundane and ordinary, or sacrifice all in exchange for one blazing moment of glory?
Last night, we went to another production, right here in our home town: an abridged version of the medieval Shepherd’s Play, performed in a church hall by members of our local life-sharing communities, men and women whose mental and physical challenges require special care in special homes devoted to their well-being.
Rehearsals for each of these performances began months ago. All fall, the actors in each committed themselves to the work of learning lines and music, preparing for their roles. And then, when the moment came to shine, each and every one of them got up on stage, took a long deep breath, and offered everything they had to give.
In the case of “Pippin”: death-defying, gasp-inducing acrobatics; soaring, searing interpretations of the killer Stephen Schwartz score, and a faithful recreation of Bob Fosse’s dazzling original choreography. Thrilling moments of pure, over-the-top theatrical magic and stripped-bare moments of aching, human vulnerability.
And at The Shepherd’s Play: simple lines painstakingly recited (with some unobtrusive support from unflappable volunteers and patient staff members), age-old songs and exuberant comic bits, a few inevitable stumbles and a few unexpected onstage tears. And, yes, here too, thrilling moments of theatrical magic and stripped-bare moments of aching, human vulnerability.
In the plush theatre, my eyes filled as a young Broadway star sang an exquisite love song to the older woman who finally cracks open his heart. And in the dusty church hall, I wept again, as a stout, shy young Mary hesitantly lifted her arms in silent rapture to receive the divine touch of an awkward, determined angel Gabriel, a Gabriel whose hair stuck up and whose mouth was a little odd and whose words were a little garbled, and whose white tunic didn’t quite fit his gawky frame.
At the end of both of these plays, the audiences leapt to their feet. The ovations were long and heartfelt and joy-filled– our grateful human response to gifts shared openly, offered in good faith and with nothing held back.
There is, of course, no way to compare these two productions, the extravagant New York- bound musical and the humble small-town pageant. One is not “better” than the other; they are both special, both worthy, both performed with all the love and courage their players had to offer. I wouldn’t have missed either of them.
And side by side, they have set me to thinking. All year, I’ve been squirreling presents away in closets; yesterday, I was out in the stores, buying yet a few more. But today, as I wrap these gifts and put them under the tree, I realize how quick I am to judge my own gifts and find them wanting.
I love finding the perfect something for a friend, surprising a loved one with just the “right” treasure, taking time to spend with those near and dear, answering letters from strangers. I take deep satisfaction in sharing the books I love, the food I prepare, the seats at our dinner table, the hours in my day, the freshly made bed in the guest room.
Yet, I am much less sure when it comes to sharing the gift of myself. Looking at my schedule of bookstore visits and public appearances in January and February, my stomach clenches into a tight little knot. Can I really go out and do all that? Will I disappoint readers who expect more from me than I can possibly deliver? Do people understand that, just because I’ve written a book about growing older, I don’t actually have all that much figured out? That I’m still grappling myself with losses and changes and questions that leave me at a loss for answers?
At the end of his two and a half hour search for fulfillment, Pippin discovers that his own “corner of the sky” isn’t fame or fortune after all, but the place in his heart that’s filled with love for others. His search ends not with a blaze of glory, but with acceptance of his own ordinary, un-glorious and imperfect but truly compassionate self. He chooses a life that’s authentic and meaningful to him, rather than a flashy trick to impress an audience.
The message hit home. As I watch my own two sons at twenty and twenty-three, each struggling in their own way to make sense of their inchoate hopes and dreams, each wondering what mark they’ll leave on the world, I do know what they cannot possibly have learned yet: it’s the journey itself, not the destination, that matters most.
Only time and hard-won experience can teach them this lesson, that the more truth they are willing to risk along the way, the more courageously they are willing to give of themselves, the more they will have to offer. And, of course, each time they do step forward and bring their own humble gifts into the world, the more they will receive in return.
Perhaps that’s exactly the reminder I need myself at this vulnerable moment before my new book arrives in bookstores. And perhaps this is my task for now: to remember that my job over these next few months isn’t to judge the worthiness of my gift, but to find the courage to show up and offer it.
For what, after all, do any of us really want from one another? Certainly it is not more stuff. Nor is it perfection or fool-proof answers or second-hand wisdom. We want more presence, not more presents. And the most valuable gift we have to give is, always, the unvarnished, unadorned truth of who we really are. Joy comes when we are both courageous and generous – brave enough to be who we are, and as generous with the gift of our own flawed, vulnerable, unique selves as we are with the gifts we wrap up in pretty paper and ribbons and bows.
A quick MAGICAL JOURNEY update – and books to give away!
Events: I hope to meet you in 2013! To see where I’ll be and when, visit my events page by CLICKING HERE. (Check back often!)
News: My deep gratitude this week to fellow travelers David Abrams and Beth Kephart, two much-admired writers who graciously share their own gifts by generously celebrating the works of others. I am honored to be featured on their websites.
CLICK HERE for Beth’s. And HERE for David’s.
Finally, it’s not too late to win an advance copy.
- You can enter to win one of ten that Goodreads is giving away by clicking HERE.
- And, I have five author copies right here on my desk, waiting to be signed and shared with you. To win, subscribe to my weekly newsletter (if you haven’t already done so), and then leave a comment here. (Any comment at all will do, but feel free to share a gift you’ve given this year, or one you’ve received that touched your heart.) I’ll draw one winner at random each day from December 26-30.
Joy! In the meantime, from my house to yours, warm wishes for a most wonderful holiday. May you both generously give and gratefully receive the precious present of presence!
I love that you were here, seeing Pippin – I have had Corner of the Sky on my ipod for years, and I run to it, and every single time I think of Whit … that boy reminds me of the free spirit that is Pippin. Thank you for these beautiful musings on what it is we all truly want. xox
I think Pippin is all our boys, all of US. We search for our corner of the sky, and then, if we’re lucky, we realize we’re already there!
Katrina, all you need to do to see the worthiness of your gift is to read the comments on your blogs.You touch so many of us with your beautiful words. Blessings to you and your loved ones for a wonderful Christmas and a happy, healthy 2013 – it will certainly be a busy and exciting year for you!
I love that you continue to share your own journey in the constant work, gift of being present… the most precious of gifts and the one that requires reflection and awareness to give. Thank you.
You always write the most perfect words!! Your gift is not that you have it figured out, but that you chart each step of the way, that you pick the words that ring true in our hearts. Thank you for each post and for your presence here on the page.
Strangely enough, sometimes it seems that those things that cause us great pain may also be the very things that become our greatest gifts. Wishing you, your family, and friends, and all your readers a warm and wonderful holiday season…much peace to all.
My greatest gift received is my boys, three of them, that I strive to love well.
Thank you for sharing your heart and reflections with us. I so agree with you that the best present is our presence. A few years ago, the adults in our family decided that instead of exchanging Christmas gifts, we would pool the money we would have spent on the presents and go on a family adventure each summer. We do gifts for the children, and last year we added “white elephant” gifts for the adults. (This year I decorated Blessing / Memory / Gratitude jars for everyone with insturctions “to fill the jar with notes about good things that happen. Then, on New Years Eve, empty it and see what awsome stuff happend that year.”). Throughout the year our family gets together and just enjoys each other’s company. We do things with the grandkids so that they will have experiences to cherish and remember.
Thank you for your words this holiday season. What a gift! Wishing you and your family many Christmas blessings.
As my daughter finishes her high school experience and I prepare for her departure to an out-of-state college, this single mom is diligently working to prepare for this new stage in our journey. I look forward to reading your book, perhaps it will add just a bit of magic into the mix. Thank you for the opportunity to win a copy.
Katrina, looking forward to reading your new book, it is on my Christmas list!
Today, I bought coffee for my workout partners, while we were doing our grocery shopping. Then, my cashier was kind enough to let me take her picture for my ‘Appreciate the Season daily letter, with her Elf hat on, so I also bought all the cashiers coffee. Best present I could have given those hard working ladies.
Thank you, once again, Katrina for your heartfelt words. You always lift my spirits. Also, I wanted to share a unique gift I received last night. I was able to attend a holiday jazz show in NYC where a dear friend, Joelle Lurie, sang her heart out and made us erupt in cheers and laughter. She filled our hearts and for that I am so grateful.
Thank you for this lovely post! Merry Christmas to you! This year, a dear friend gave me a locket with the words “whole heart” engraved inside it. This is how I am trying to live into my 40s.
I think, after pondering what I “could” say in response to this post, that all I “want” to say is “amen” and “thank you”. You’ve said what I often feel in my heart so beautifully.
From the other coast as the last moments of the solstice ebb I’m wishing you a rising light of joy and wonder as your ever-unfolding magical journey continually offers you its very Self and your questions mingle with my own and all the shared questions in our pulsing opportunity for friendship, conviviality, compassion so needed in our world and simple fun.
XO
Over the last two years I have been blessed with the gift of a friendship with a family in Spain. We met through an exchange program when we hosted the son. Shortly after the son, Pedro, returned to Spain, we found out that he was a composer. Last month for my birthday, Pedro composed a song for me. It wasn’t a gift wrapped in a box, but it is one I can take with me wherever I go. It is a priceless gift that touched my heart.
I look forward to getting your new book too because I know it will touch my heart and give me lots of food for thought.
I have stood firmly behind my fear for years, but as I shine a little light upon my fear I feel myself being gently pulled in the direction of my dreams – my purpose. I wish I could say I am marching confidently, but the truth is I am walking cautiously and slowly towards my dreams. I am mustering courage each day to do a little more. I sit each day with my journal and feel gratitude for the moments I have been granted, for the dreams I am already living … and it fuels me to move forward.
You are an inspiration! “Mitten Strings to God” reminded me to slow down and be present with my girls. “The Gift of the Ordinary Day” is reminding me to cherish the short time we have together under on roof (my girls are 8 and 13) and soon I will be inspired by your “Magical Journey”. Thank you for having the courage to share your gifts with the world!
Thanks for your insightful description of Pippen – and reminding me of my dear freshman roommate (Smith ’82) who first introduced me to her favorite musical. I’ll be sharing “The Gift of an Ordinary Day” this Christmas.
Katrina,
Who would not go out and hail a friend, person, and writer like you?
xo
b
All we really want is the gift of our presence. Yes, that really says it all, and I couldn’t agree more. Wishing you all the joys and delights of the holiday season, and a beautiful 2013. If you ever find your way to New Mexico, let me know: I’d be happy to help you arrange a bookstore visit at one our local haunts. I know it’s a long way from home, but your words are so resonant in a place like this.
I am excited to own you new book. I have read all the others and find peace in them.You know just how to get to my heart and soul. Your books are the ones that I reread!
Thank you for sharing your gift with all of us.
Katrina,
I am really looking forward to reading your book. It’s release date is on my daughter’s birthday. Two gifts on one day! Thank you.
All the best to you and yours during this holiday season.
I meant “Its”
I have been touched by the gift of friendship I have received from a wonderful group of women with whom I work. We have been faced with changes and challenges this year and their support as we work together has buoyed my spirits.
Reading your blog always lets me know that words alone can bring out so many feelings: gratitude, authenticity,courage,fear, worry,exposed, ease and warmth. Keep writing!!
Thank you for the gifts you share here all year, which are magnified exponentially by helping me to notice the beautiful, everyday gifts that are present in my life. Congratulations on your new book!
“my job over these next few months isn’t to judge the worthiness of my gift, but to find the courage to show up and offer it”…thank you for sharing this wisdom. I treasure it. It has become a mantra I am repeating to myself, especially as I prepare to share a new offering with others early in the new year.
Thanks for sharing… The gift of being alive and having my family alive and well is the most important of all.
Katrina,
Thank you for your wonderful words. You say what so many people are feeling. I hope to meet you one day since I feel as if I already know you.
Happy New Year.
Yes, please! 🙂
I can hardly wait for your new book! I’ve read everything you’ve written, included email newsletters, etc. I even bought a book that you edited! love your style and your ability to take a reader to wherever you are. awesome!
I am really looking forward to your new book. My two boys are the ages of yours and I find myself struggling greatly with letting them go. I am fighting the change to the point of exhaustion but I know it must come. I have enjoyed the journey of motherhood immensely and struggle with what I know must take place for each of us to grow. So, it’s time to move forward and embrace a new life and new relationship of mother and sons.
Excited to read your new book…loved your last 🙂
Dear Katrina,
The hype of 12/21 tugged at many’s hearts, including mine. It was my birthday, and I wonder if it was Henry’s too? It’s a fun and funny time to have a birthday. As a kid (or people tell me) that I wouldn’t get as many presents since it coincide with Christmas. As an adult, it has become festive -to receive pictures and greeting cards from loved ones. Only to connect. To connect to the presence of our family and friends, to the divine. What luck to have been here on 12/21, and continue to be 🙂 A quirky time for plays and Harvard Square. How I miss it since I moved West in 2009. So glad to have this connection here, with you, too. Thank you.
Katrina,
I am looking forward to reading your book. Last year, my mom died after a long battle with Alzheimer’s. My 2 uncles, her brothers, died the same week. I lost 3 people in one week. My mothers funeral was on the same day as my godfather’s funeral. I never imagined this type of pain and anguish or watching loved ones feel that. My mom was 67. Her brothers were younger.
This year I have had more peace in my heart on my journey to feel okay inside. The sadness is tucked away and I’m still looking for that place where I am filled with joy, I sometimes feel I can’t ever feel or that I should not.
My gift was the peace and slowly leaving the pain behind (mostly).
I think every one of us can inspire something in someone else. They simply have to be open to receiving. And they can be even if they don’t know it.
I first saw you video “Gift of an Ordinary Day” almost three years ago. I wept. I was on the threshold of a broken marriage, my best friend was dying, and I didn’t know me. I found your book, and it took me 7 months to read it. I couldn’t read a page without crying, without something being stirred.
I met you in the fall of 2010 in New Milford, CT. I was pregnant with my fourth daughter, whom we aptly named Hope. For that is what she was to us. I now have a fifth child, a son. I’ve read that book a few more times, and loaned it out to other women I know who are searching. And I’m eagerly waiting this new book. For I still have a lot to learn.
I’m so looking forward to having another one of your books to open on the days when I am just not sure I have what it takes to take the next step.
I love your work. Knowing almost two million people have experienced the video makes me feel hopeful and grateful. Thank you..for all of what you do, offer, share, teach with grace and honesty and beauty.
I so look forward to your new book. Your words and truths touch my heart, hug my soul. Thank you for sharing yourself so genuinely.
My greatest gift this past year was somehow getting through challenges and scary spots I didn’t think I would. Life is good…even when it’s not.
Best wishes for success with your book and a blessed 2013 for you and yours.
I love this post! I’m always inspired by your writing!! Thank you for sharing yourself with readers!
You are just a couple of years ahead of me on this maternal journey, Katrina, and I am so grateful for your insight. The experiences you share are presented so personally, and yet they are universally appealing to mothers everywhere. Thank you for sharing your vulnerable self with us yet again. I love your writing. You continue to inspire me. Blessings!!
Katrina, I am so looking forward to your new book. I discovered your last book last year at what, fir many reasons, could only be called a crossroads in my very existence. While our lives seem geographically distant and different in many ways, there are so many similarities that it felt uncanny at times as I read your words. Your book was one I chose for our trip to the beach last December during which I quietly celebrated my 50th birthday. It seemed as though I had brought along another friend to the party. Keep telling your stories. I know I’m not the only one patiently waiting.
Gift of an ordinary day, was the perfect book for my life! Looking forward to your new one
I always look forward to reading your inspirational messages!!! Can’t wait to add your next book to my library.
I can’t wait for Magical Journey!!!
I love your books they touch my soul thanks for sharing these gifts with us have a happy festive season
I found you through Karen Maezen’s blog. As her words always drive me to the examined life, and tears, so have yours.
Thank you
namaste
Hello Katrina! I LOVE your way with words… One of my favorite gifts this year was from my daughter, Greta, who turned 13 on Christmas Day. (Yes, we now have a teenager in the house!) Greta and I have read the first two Penderwick books (about a family of four daughters). Greta went shopping with three friends after school on Friday, and she bought the third Penderwick book for us to read together. I will certainly enjoy the book, but the REAL gift to me was that Greta thought of it as something we could do together. Time spent with my girls is the real treasure of my life…. Happy New Year, Katrina!
I am counting down the days until your new book comes out!! So looking forward to reading it cover to cover! Thanks so much for your lovely blog posts. I re-read them several times.
Thank you for this beautiful post and sharing your gifts with us.
Katrina, your book video alone is such a tremendous gift of beauty and truth. Thank you for speaking your heart here and in your book, and may many listen and let your words speak to their hearts.
Katrina- I was so excited to learn of your new book today! I am a huge fan, and have enjoyed reading your books when I had only two kids and now especially that I have 5. My oldest two boys are 14 and 16. When I read The Gift of an Ordinary Day last year it took me about a year to read it. Not because I wasn’t enjoying it, but because I needed to savor the lessons, the gems, and the wisdom. It was a beautiful journey. I remember when I closed the book, I sighed a long sigh, as if I had been on an alternate plane while reading it. I was sad to see it end. Thank you for sharing your heart with your readers. It is appreciated-from one mother to another. <3
Hi Katrina I live in Cape Town, South Africa and I just wanted to say how much your books have meant to me right here on the Southern tip of Africa! I came across a reference to The Gift of an Ordinary Day in an article on the Simplicity Parenting website (www.simplicityparenting.com) and managed to order a copy. I loved it so much that I ordered a further two to give away as gifts and then also ordered Mitten Strings for God. I have also leant the books to friends – all of whom like me struggle with the day to day demands of family life and trying to carve out some space for ourselves and our dreams in amongst all the busyness. Your books are inspirational and insightful and offer much needed practical wisdom for the parenting and life journey. Thank you!
Hello Katrina! I’ve always felt a connection to you and your work. The first connection is that we share the same first name, which I’m sure you know is not very common. The second connection is the raising of two children (mine are daughters)in a fast-paced world with the desire to slow down a bit. Your words always bring comfort and contemplation. I am a second grade teacher, and my favorite gift came from a student of mine. She gave me a bracelet that she had made that spelled my name. It might not seem like much, but her family struggles to get by, and that sentiment, combined with the emotion of the Connecticut tragedy reminded me of what’s really important. I’ll turn the calendar to 2013 with a renewed commitment to my students and my family. Thank you for the work that you do…can’t wait to read the new book!
So looking forward to reading your new book! I absolutely LOVED “The Gift of an Ordinary Day”.
Love, love, love your books, and your blog. I’ve followed you since reading “Mitten Strings from God” when my babies were little. Your first book was my “a-ha moment” to not wish away time so much, enjoy where I was at with my littles. Almost ten years later, your advice and insight, and even the tradition of mint tea, continues to serve my family well. Can’t wait for your next book!
I would love a copy. I have read the two previous books and loved them. Excited for the new book.
Would love to read your new book, life is very much a Magical Journey that should be celebrated each and every day!
My first thoughts of gifts received this year are gifts of hospitality. Here’s one. When I visited a friend in Shreveport (a weekend full of such gifts), one of her sons surrounded the pillow of my guest bed with his own stuffed animals, so I wouldn’t feel scared in a strange room. So sweet.
It has been snowing off and on since Christmas Day- so beautiful-a real gift and so important to the local people. Happy holidays and looking forward to your new book!!!
Your words are such a gift. Thx u for sharing. Your first book brought me so much joy and insight, I look so forward to reading ur new book. Happy New Year to u, and if I could b so bold to call you…my friend.
I would so love to win a copy of your latest book. I received A Gift of an Ordinary Day for Christmas and I am savouring it. I have two copies of Mitten Strings for God – one for me and one for lending.
Best wishes for a magical new year!
I happened upon the “Gift of An Ordinary ” day by chance at my sons schools book fair. Instantly was in love. My very favorite line the reference to raise two different boys in the same environment is like growing a fern and a cactus in the same soil. SO true for me every day with my boys! So different from each other. I cannot wait to get my hands on the next book and start the next journey.
So looking forward to your book!
I really think that the best gifts that I rec’d this year were the intangible ones…friends listening w/o judgment, and offering a shoulder to cry on while I trudged through the legal workings of divorce. Their love gave me strength.
Katrina
This year for Christmas we decided as a family that we wanted to start collecting more memories instead of things. So instead of gifts we took a trip to Hawaii. Our boys 17 & almost 13 loved it and said that it was better than getting a bunch of stuff. Our gift was and is each other!
Happy New Year!
Katrina,
Your gift of knowing what to write to have the biggest impact on our hearts is such a gift. I feel that you and your books have greatly impacted my parenting style. And now, as my boys grow older, you are impacting the next phase of my journey. I am counting the days until I can sit with your new book, but certainly wouldn’t mind getting it earlier than I expect it. Have a glorious New Year and enjoy your book tour. Thank you for realizing and using your gift to reach out to so many people! Happy New Year!
I am looking forward to reading your newest book, Katrina. Your writing is beautiful and your words on presence speak to me deeply. That, in fact, has been the gift I’ve worked on giving this Christmas season — less other cyber-preoccupations and more present time with my family. It will be gone before I know it. We’re looking forward to Lindsey’s feature of Magical Journey on Great New Books!
Thank you for your inspiring stories throughout the year. I sent my second child off to college this year and in honor of it, watched your excerpt of The Gift of an Ordinary Day and cried both tears of happiness and sadness. Happy New Year!
I would love to win a copy of your newest book! I look forward to savoring every word.
How excited I was to read that you have another book coming out! I absolutely loved your first two and cannot wait to find a cozy, warm spot to sit down and enjoy the Magical Journey! Happy New Year!
Beautiful. Can’t wait to read it!
“his own “corner of the sky” isn’t fame or fortune after all, but the place in his heart that’s filled with love for others.”
That comment hits so close to home as my children all leave to go back to their own homes and lives, so different from their mom and dad, but SO loved!
Gifts, wrapped lovingly, and opened quickly, do not compare for the LOVE we feel!
I am looking forward to your new book!
thank you for writing!